Boy Mom

Reflecting while following the 2 youngest boys around the yard this spring morning...

Things a new boy mom might want to know:

#1   Prepare to be outside - a lot!
      From the time they are about 18 months to the time they are 5, they need to be outside.  If indoors, they will get bored, cause havoc and destruction basically.  Trust me, it's easier to succumb to it and go play in the sand box or snow banks!

#2   Boys fight
       Maybe not physical fighting, but they will argue, whine, and hate each other every day over something simple.  And it will alternate who is fighting, the more boys you have.  It usually is #1 and #2, they are constantly fighting, who causes it changes from fight to fight.  Or it can be #3 bullying the baby #4.   Or it can be the baby #4, wrestling and dominating #2!   That is more of a playful fight tho and one I can stand.

#3   They will become interested in their privates.  It's only a matter of time.  It seems that 3 of mine have become interested at the same time.  Either sticking out their butts, shoving blankets into their underwear, and I can't tell you how many times in a day I hear the word 'penis'.

#4   They are different.
       I hate when people always say that boys are easier than girls or that girls are more drama.  Having 4 boys, I see just how different they are, they may be the same gender, but they are not the same person.  #1 is the pleaser and sensitive, yet does not like to be bothered by anyone. #2 is very friendly, but tends to instigate trouble with #1.  #3 whines constantly but is the cutest curious spirit.  #4 is a baby still but at the stage he's becoming independent and stubborn yet pretty dependent still.

#5  They love Mommy.
      They will not ask anything of Daddy even if he's sitting right next to them.

#6  Mostly no one likes clothes.
     My oldest still strips to his undies the minute he gets home from school.  Except one of them, who prefers fleece pjs all day (we are just coming out of winter and I think he's used to layers), but the rest prefer undies/diaper only at bedtime as well.

#7   They all have a favorite blanky.
       It will slowly become rank, dingy, shredded, yet remains the dearest to their hearts.  Every one of my boys has at least 1 blanket by their side, they rub their noses on, caress with their fingers, or wrangle it into a tight ball to pat with their hand.

#8    They like to collect things...
        Rocks, sticks, seashells, cars, pokemon cards...very boyish things.

#9     They all like toys with wheels.
         It starts out as toy cars, trains, planes, tractors, and changes to power wheels and bikes.  They like things that go.  Snowmobiling, 4 wheeling, boating.

#10     They are interested in practical things.  It makes car rides fun!
           Pointing out tractors in a farm field, geese, horses, cows, planes, the moon - I think I get just as excited.

#11    You will be surprised - many times and in many ways!
         - finding worms on your living room carpet
         - almost lighting the house on fire
         - starting grandpa's lawn mower
         - when they sneak out the front door and you can't find them
         - when they climb a 6 ft rock wall at 2-3 years old
         All the dreaded sounding boy things you hear of!
         However, there are other ways of being surprised...
         If you find yourself feeling a bit too masculine or lacking femininity because you have all boys, that you are less of a woman or a mother, you can find yourself and be yourself with your boys.  I bake and one will mix, taste, and break the eggs with me.  I like crafts - I make elaborate birthday cakes that all of my boys love and get excited about, all boys themes, the latest was a Lightning McQueen car cake.  It was a hit. I was happy.  I loved it too.  You can shine as a woman in a group of wonderful little men - the queen of the castle.

#12    You will love being a boy mom, even if you think it's out of your realm.
         You may have pictured life differently, but they teach you how to love them and more importantly, how to love yourself.  Completely.   Each time I've added to my family, trying to get the girl, it was more about finding happiness, and finding the person I was supposed to become.  I didn't get the girl, but I did get that. 

It does still leave me aching with the unknown of experiencing pink and frills, the friendship of a mother-daughter, or having the experience of my daughter becoming a mother.  All of these things tear me apart, if I let it.  Instead, I'm basking in the beauty of the treasures I have been given.